In 2023, during the celebration of International Women's Day, I encountered the notion of "Equity" for the first time. Initially, its significance in a woman's daily life didn't strike me profoundly. However, over the past year, I've been continually reminded of its relevance on numerous occasions. Discussions around workplace Diversity and the concerted effort to elevate the presence of women in organizations, especially in leadership roles, have gained traction globally. While commendable, there's a touch of irony in this commendable endeavor.
The very men who wield decision-making power in organizations, shaping policies to foster inclusivity and gender balance, often seem to leave the concept of equality at their home doorstep. As they enter their domestic realm, they discard the notion of equality as if shedding a coat, anticipating their wives to effortlessly shift from their professional roles into the responsibilities of a homemaker.
It's important to acknowledge that these men, undoubtedly exhausted, may overlook the fact that their wives have also completed a full day of work. While men reserve the right to feel tired and anticipate a warm meal, women often find themselves without the luxury of even a moment's respite upon entering their homes, immediately embarking on a series of domestic chores.
Allow me to introduce myself. I am an independent woman, holding a managerial position in a software company based in the valley. My daily routine spans 18 hours, with 10 dedicated to my paid office job and the remaining 8 to unpaid domestic responsibilities. Unlike my husband, who can afford to indulge in some gaming or post-work Netflixing, my evenings are consumed by preparing dinner, serving meals, cleaning, and organizing the household.
In India, traditional teachings have instilled the notion that husbands are to be revered as Gods and women are meant to serve them. While finding solace in serving others is undeniable, why does this obligation seem like a one-way street? Despite receiving equal opportunities in the workplace, the additional burden of household chores often leaves women feeling more burnt out than their male counterparts.
The constant struggle to meet professional expectations while maintaining the perfect household is exhausting. Most women of my generation have been raised observing the admirable qualities of our mothers who excelled in managing the household. While I aspire to emulate the same, the reality is that I find it challenging. Balancing being a top performer in my office with meeting the expectations of the perfect wife my husband envisions creates an ongoing struggle. This quest to embody a superwoman and achieve everything becomes not only tiring but also utterly exhausting.
Guilt envelops me when the meal I serve my husband falls short of his expectations, and a similar sense of guilt lingers when I'm unable to attend a late evening training crucial for my professional growth. The feeling intensifies when my husband gazes at me with a perception of disappointment, expecting me to manage the household like his mother did. Additionally, guilt creeps in when I can't dedicate time to an extra project, contrasting with colleagues who can find the bandwidth. This internal struggle feels like an unending battle.
Equality and equity aren't merely workplace concerns; they require action at home. Men should not only advocate for policies in the workplace but also take up equal responsibilities in household chores. A supportive partner, one who respects and collaborates in the journey towards success, is the key for women to conquer the world with the skills they inherently possess.
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